FEBRUARY 2007 - OF LOVING ANG LONGING

The issue of the great misunderstanding of the New Year refuses to die down. The poor telecommunications in Kosrae refuse to buckle down. The signals from different communication systems among the Filipino community continue to carry the buzz. Yes, it’s the buzz that the 3 telecommunication systems in the Philippines are said to be actively operating in Kosrae – Smart, Globe and Sun Cellular. The stories are very reminiscent of Lino Brocka’s Insiang, Ora Pronobis and Maynila sa Kuko ng Liwanag. Of course, if you are very familiar with the backdrop scenes of Relasyon, Pagdating sa Dulo and Broken Marriage movies of Ishmael Bernal wherein gossips are part of the Filipino life landscape, you would just smile and nod your head. So the saga continues.


Valentine’s Day –

Valentine’s Day is such a silent day in Kosrae. They never celebrate it. But because of the fact that we long for our love ones during this day when you are far from them, we find it more doubly important to remember people we love on this day.

Death Anniversary

The death anniversary of my mother falls on the month of February. And thus, I feel the angst of pain during this month. Who would not anyway? I can always remember my mother as a hard working woman who helped my father through life by being a dressmaker at the outset but she eventually became best cook of native rice cakes in the province. She oversaw the education of her children by her skills in rice cake making. I can always remember bringing bags of puto and kutsinta to my school and earn my days’ allowance by selling rice cakes. They call me “magpuputo”. That’s why whenever I cook all these stuff: puto, kutsinta, tikoy, bibingka, suman, nilatikan and pilipit, I will always remember my mother. She does them so good that I believe I can never even equal her cooking skills. I will always remember my mother when I prepare tocino, longganisa, embutido, rellenong bangus and chicken galatina . I never mastered her recipe for morcon and lumpiang shanghai. She cooks lumpiang shanghai so tastefully that even the local Chinese restaurant wanted her to be a cook in their establishment.

To continue the task more, I always remember my mother who never blocked my ambition to become a doctor. Even when my teachers told me you can not become a doctor without lots of money. My mother tempered herself and just said, if that is your dream, reach out for that dream. She supported me all throughout the ordeal in reaching and making that dream a reality. When all others were having difficulties in the college of medicine – both financially and academically, I was cloistered from the financial difficulty because I was enrolled in a school that did not only give me the best of medical skills but also the best of medical knowledge in the Philippines. I was on a scholarship at the University of the Philippines and was therefore, losing hair and eyebrows studying and taking examinations after examinations in the hallowed halls where great men and women in the medical field in the country came about. How I’d wish my mother took the same path that I did. Because whenever we were sick, she was our doctor, our nurse and the relieving person all rolled into one. Her fears were etched on her face. And the love that emanates from that face is nothing that can be compared when we talk of that love. I have always wished that mother with her innate intelligence should have continued her education. But my grandfather came from the school of antiquity – that women are for the house; and that men should do the studying because they are the providers for their family. Unfortunately, of the 5 men in the brood of 11, only one managed to get an education and went to the United States and never looked backed. On the other hand, of the 6 women, only had a college education because she defied my grandfather’s wished. Unfortunately, that woman was not mother. She dutifully obeyed and eventually she dutifully took care of the aging people during her time.

My mother never wavered. She believe in her son who when he was 3 years old was stricken by polio. And of course, during the 60’s, polio is a dreadful disease that could lead to paralysis of the lower extremities. She took her son to all doctors whom he could hear might give a cure. With faith in God and faith in man, his son’s polio was considered the abortive type and miraculously survived the ordeal. Her son underwent rehabilitation therapy and although showed atrophy of the lower extremities have become functional and went on to reap honors for the family. Who would ever thought that the “tikling” – (tikling is a bird that has very thin legs and walk in a very gyrating manner) would grow into a quite enormous entity (big bellied and fat, I will not call myself obese because there are more people fatter than I am).

It was also my mother who amply reminded me of what commitment to take. Her question to me when I became a full-pledged doctor was: “Are you also leaving just like what your cousin did?” I was clearly stunned. I wanted to explore more. I wanted to expand my wings. I wanted to bring about change in myself. I wanted to bring about change in the family.

Little did I know that the values of compassion, idealism, empathy and kindness instilled by this woman in me during my formative years would be the same values that I would use in making a decision for myself?

What now was my question? Am I going to join the bandwagon and add to the brain drain of my country? I decided to enlist in a volunteer program of the government. I became a country doctor deep into the forests of Balbalan, Kalinga-Apayao. I have enjoyed the life of the country. I have enjoyed the people with their simplicity. I thought I had found the meaning of medical service through these people. I thought this is it.

But life has its own convolutions and trials. My mother got sick. And I decided to stay with the family. I went into surgery training. As I went deeper into my training, my mother’s condition slowly deteriorated. The tell-tale signs of Chronic Arteriosclerotic Brain Dementia are beginning to show. After my fellowship in Bologna, Italy in Hepatobiliary and Pancreatic Surgery in 1996, I decided to go back to the country and serve in my province La Union. I went into private practice and joined the academe. While being part of service to patients, I was also being part in the molding of young people’s mind through paramedical education. In a sense I was fulfilling the prophecy of my mother.

One of the signs that mother’s dementia was starting to rear its ugly head is when she starts to cook rice cakes and forgetting to put sugar in it. Slowly, my mother lost her memory. She started to call me his brother. She started to fear herself. The once beautiful Miss Yuletide Aringay when she was still 18 years of age was slowly wasting away physically. As my mother’s condition progressively deteriorated, I started fearing that dejection might come into my father. But I saw my father doing his caring acts. I have never seen my father so overly demonstrative but during the last years of my mother. My father showed how much he loved my mother and that matters most. Eventually, my mother succumbed on February 21, 2005 to Chronic Arteriosclerotic Brain Dementia.

On this second year death anniversary of my mother, JULIANA QUIROS MALLARI, I came across a song written by National Artists Lucio San Pedro and Levi Celerio , Sa Ugoy ng Duyan. It is a very touching song about the longing for our mother’s love. I translated it to English. I know the English translation may not be equal to the lyricism of the original song, but here’s my take for I have always thought of writing a piece for my demised mother but never had the chance. Now finally, I have written one. I miss you my dear mother. May you enjoy the gift of eternal peace and love. Here is the translation of the song:

AS THE CRADLE SWINGS
(Lucio San Pedro/Levi Celerio)


I
I hope my younger days will still be around
I long for the days as a child in my mother’s care
How I miss the songs of my beloved mother
Her songs of love while I was being cradled to sleep


II
I hope my younger days will still be around
I long for the days as a child in my mother’s care
How I miss the songs of my beloved mother
Her songs of love while I was being cradled to sleep

III
In my deep slumber
I am being guarded by a bright star
This star is my sentinel
In my mother’s bosom
Life is heaven
So that when my heart is nursing a wound
I long for the cradle of my mother that rocks me to sleep

IV
I hope my younger days will still be around
I long for the days as a child in my mother’s care
How I miss the songs of my beloved mother
Her songs of love while I was being cradled to sleep

V
In my deep slumber
I am being guarded by a bright star
This star is my sentinel
In my mother’s bosom
Life is heaven
So that when my heart is nursing a wound
I long for the cradle of my mother that rocks me to sleep

VI
I hope my younger days will still be around
I long for the days as a child in my mother’s care
How I miss the songs of my beloved mother
Her songs of love while I was being cradled to sleep
(Her songs of love while I was being cradled to sleep)
O I want to sleep in my former cradle where mother rocks me
O my mother

JANUARY 2007 - OF WORK, FRIENDS AND THE SPARKS OF THE NEW YEAR

It is almost nine months and the lazy bone did me in. I have not etched even a little bit. I have posted something about the declaration of independence last June but in reality that thing was just a copy paste affair. It does not have anything to do with my literary itch. I would have wanted to do a lot of writings for this blog but I just could not find the zest and vigor to do just that. But today I am confronted of a day in my life that made me stopped a bit – ponder and look into what had happened to me in the last nine months. I have been amiss of my blog and when I was writing the things that happened to me, streams of consciousness and memories of the months just come flowing in. I would like therefore to chronicle them to you as the months pass by. And here they are:

Upon Arrival:

After I have arrived in Kosrae, I just felt like I am not ready to do anything yet. But work was ready for me. Upon my arrival, I have to see patients referred to me at once. I did my own triaging. Which of these patients need attention first? Which of these patients need attention the least? The feeling of wariness and unreadiness started to wear off. I coasted along and got immersed with work. What is it that we get to do but to work and work and get numbed in the process? We may never want to get the melancholia that goes with the coming New Year most especially if you are leaving love ones behind. We really need to move on.

The Failure of Communication:

I was the most surprised when I got a visit in the house from “former” friends. I was glad they gave me a visit because it is about time to discuss issues that have not been elucidated upon. To put it succinctly, these used to be friends have been wondering why there was a sudden gap among us. I explained fully well and I thought they have understood what had transpired in the past. I told them that what happened in the past should be buried in the memory box and thus be part of an experience in learning. That as I have said to them, we really need to move forward and when confronted with the person of their concern, they should let bygones be bygones. The understanding was so clear and yet……….

It is such a pity that some people prefer to wallow in the dark recesses of their own suspicions – preferring to give their own versions of their own stories. Convoluted it may seem, they accept it as their own biblical truth. They prefer to believe the second hand stories that have undergone processing and details and truth have been mangled to suit the purveyor of bad tidings. Kosrae is such a small island. And the Filipino community is such a very small minority. And we expect that news caused by wagging tongues would reach the recipients of ill will. The intent has become poison and has clouded the judgment of both protagonist and antagonists carrying in the process other people.

The problem of a misunderstanding that stem from tittle-tattle of the great magnitude is that it gets to involve a lot of people in a manner of speaking. And these people have their own version of the truth. And the question now is? Who is telling the real truth?

I have been the center of brickbats of these couple. I was accused of ferreting out narratives that were allegedly not true. I feel exhausted by their implications. I feel betrayed of their friendship. And I feel insulted by their outright arrogance. But my take for this matter is that I will stand my ground. It is because I own the real story. I know the real truth will come out. (Which it did!!! This is another story anyway!!!)

On an Arriving Friend:

The arrival of Vannie in the island is a welcome respite. Vannie is my designer-dressmaker friend in the Philippines. He will be going to work with the Charley’s in their Malem Tailoring Shop. Although Vannie’s specialty is that of high fashion dresses, he is going to make a pitch for the local women’s clothes line here in Kosrae. Will he eventually adapt to the different fashion sense of the islanders? Well, let us see…….

TODAY IS THE PHILIPPINES' 109TH INDEPENDENCE DAY

Today is the 109th anniversary of the Philippines' Independence day. As I surfed the net, I have come across http://www.msc.edu.ph/centennial/declaration.html and read the declaration of Philippine Independence on June 12, 1898 and this was translated from Spanish to English by Mr. Sulpicio Guevara. I would like to remind the readers of my blog about this piece of history that may have seem to be lost among the new generations of Filipinos in this global exustence that we have now. So here goes:

Declaration of
PHILIPPINE INDEPENDENCETranslation by Sulpicio Guevara

In the town of Cavite-Viejo, Province of Cavite, this 12th day of June 1898:

BEFORE ME, Ambrosio Rianzares Bautista, War Counsellor and Special Delegate designated to proclaim and solemnize this Declaration of Independence by the Dictatorial Government of the Philippines, pursuant to, and by virtue of, a Decree issued by the Engregious Dictator Don Emilio Aguinaldo y Famy,

The undersigned assemblage of military chiefs and others of the army who could not attend, as well as the representatives of the various towns,

Taking into account the fact that the people of this country are already tired of bearing the ominous joke of Spanish domination,

Because of arbitrary arrests and abuses of the Civil Guards who cause deaths in connivance with and even under the express orders of their superior officers who at times would order the shooting of those placed under arrest under the pretext that they attempted to escape in violation of known Rules and Regulations, which abuses were left unpunished, and because of unjust deportations of illustrious Filipinos, especially those decreed by General Blanco at the instigation of the Archbishop and friars interested in keeping them in ignorance for egoistic and selfish ends, which deportations were carried out through processes more execrable than those of the Inquisition which every civilized nation repudiates as a trial without hearing.

Had resolved to start a revolution in August 1896 in order to regain the independence and sovereignty of which the people had been deprived by Spain through Governor Miguel Lopez de Legazpi who, continuing the course followed by his predecessor Ferdinand Magellan who landed on the shores of Cebu and occupied said Island by means of a Pact of Friendship with Chief Tupas, although he was killed in the battle that took place in said shores to which battle he was provoked by Chief Kalipulako ** of Mactan who suspected his evil designs, landed on the Island of Bohol by entering also into a Blood Compact with its Chief Sikatuna, with the purpose of later taking by force the Island of Cebu, and because his successor Tupas did not allow him to occupy it, he went to Manila, the capital, winning likewise the friendship of its Chiefs Soliman and Lakandula, later taking possession of the city and the whole Archipelago in the name of Spain by virtue of an order of King Philip II, and with these historical precedents and because in international law the prescription established by law to legalize the vicious acquisition of private property is not recognized, the legitimacy of such revolution can not be put in doubt which was calmed but not complete stifled by the pacification proposed by Don Pedro A. Paterno with Don Emilio Aguinaldo as President of the Republic established in Biak-na-Bato and accepted by Governor-General Don Fernando Primo De Rivera under terms, both written and oral, among them being a general amnesty for all deported and convicted persons; that by reason of the non-fulfillment of some of the terms, after the destruction of the plaza of Cavite, Don Emilio Aguinaldo returned in order to initiate a new revolution and no sooner had he given the order to rise on the 31st of last month when several towns anticipating the revolution, rose in revolt on the 28th , such that a Spanish contingent of 178 men, between Imus Cavite-Viejo, under the command of major of the Marine Infantry capitulated , the revolutionary movement spreading like wild fire to other towns of Cavite and the other provinces of Bataan, Pampanga, Batangas, Bulacan, Laguna, and Morong, some of them with seaports and such was the success of the victory of our arms, truly marvelous and without equal in the history of colonial revolutions that in the first mentioned province only the Detachments in Naic and Indang remained to surrender; in the second all Detachments had been wiped out; in the third the resistance of the Spanish forces was localized in the town of San Fernando where the greater part of them are concentrated, the remainder in Macabebe, Sexmoan, and Guagua; in the fourth, in the town of Lipa; in the fifth, in the capital and in Calumpit; and in last two remaining provinces, only in there respective capitals, and the city of Manila will soon be besieged by our forces as well as the provinces of Nueva Ecija, Tarlac, Pangasinan, La Union, Zambales, and some others in the Visayas where the revolution at the time of the pacification and others even before, so that the independence of our country and the revindication of our sovereignty is assured.

And having as witness to the rectitude of our intentions the Supreme Judge of the Universe, and under the protection of our Powerful and Humanitarian Nation, The United States of America, we do hereby proclaim and declare solemnly in the name by authority of the people of these Philippine Islands,

That they are and have the right to be free and independent; that they have ceased to have allegiance to the Crown of Spain; that all political ties between them are should be completely severed and annulled; and that, like other free and independent States, they enjoy the full power to make War and Peace, conclude commercial treaties, enter into alliances, regulate commerce, and do all other acts and things which and Independent State Has right to do,

And imbued with firm confidence in Divine Providence, we hereby mutually bind ourselves to support this Declaration with our lives, our fortunes, and with our sacred possession, our Honor.
We recognize, approve, and ratify, with all the orders emanating from the same, the Dictatorship established by Don Emilio Aguinaldo whom we reverse as the Supreme Head of this Nation, which today begins to have a life of its own, in the conviction that he has been the instrument chosen by God, inspite of his humble origin, to effectuate the redemption of this unfortunate country as foretold by Dr. Don Jose Rizal in his magnificent verses which he composed in his prison cell prior to his execution, liberating it from the Yoke of Spanish domination,

And in punishment for the impunity with which the Government sanctioned the commission of abuses by its officials, and for the unjust execution of Rizal and others who were sacrified in order to please the insatiable friars in their hydropical thirst for vengeance against and extermination of all those who oppose their Machiavellian ends, trampling upon the Penal Code of these Islands, and of those suspected persons arrested by the Chiefs of Detachments at the instigation of the friars, without any form nor semblance of trial and without any spiritual aid of our sacred Religion; and likewise, and for the same ends, eminent Filipino priest, Doctor Don Jose Burgos, Don Mariano Gomez, and Don Jacinto Zamora were hanged whose innocent blood was shed due to the intrigues of these so-called Religious corporations which made the authorities to believe that the military uprising at the fort of San Felipe in Cavite on the night of January 21, 1872 was instigated by those Filipino martyrs, thereby impeding the execution of the decree- sentence issued by the Council of State in the appeal in the administrative case interposed by the secular clergy against the Royal Orders that directed that the parishes under them within the jurisdiction of this Bishopric be turned over to the Recollects in exchange for those controlled by them in Mindanao which were to be transferred to the Jesuits, thus revoking them completely and ordering the return of those parishes, all of which proceedings are on file with the Ministry of Foreign Affairs to which they are sent last month of the year of the issuance of the proper Royal Degree which, in turn, caused the grow of the tree of the liberty in our dear land that grow more and more through the iniquitous measures of oppressions, until the last drop of our chalice of suffering having been drained, the first spark of revolution broke out in Caloocan, spread out to Santa Mesa and continued its course to the adjoining regions of the province were the unequalled heroism of its inhabitants fought a one sided battle against superior forces of General Blanco and General Polavieja for a period of 3 months, without proper arms nor ammunitions, except bolos, pointed bamboos, and arrows.

Moreover, we confer upon our famous Dictator Don Emilio Aguinaldo all the powers necessary to enable him to discharge the duties of Government, including the prerogatives of granting pardon and amnesty,

And lastly, it was results unanimously that this Nation, already free and independent as of this day, must used the same flag which up to now is being used, whose designed and colored are found described in the attached drawing, the white triangle signifying the distinctive emblem of the famous Society of the "Katipunan" which by means of its blood compact inspired the masses to rise in revolution; the tree stars, signifying the three principal Islands of these Archipelago - Luzon, Mindanao, and Panay where the revolutionary movement started; the sun representing the gigantic step made by the son of the country along the path of Progress and Civilization; the eight rays, signifying the eight provinces - Manila, Cavite, Bulacan, Pampanga, Nueva Ecija, Bataan, Laguna, and Batangas - which declares themselves in a state of war as soon as the first revolt was initiated; and the colors of Blue, Red, and White, commemorating the flag of the United States of America, as a manifestation of our profound gratitude towards this Great Nation for its disinterested protection which it lent us and continues lending us.

And holding up this flag of ours, I present it to the gentlemen here assembled:

Don Segundo Arellano Don Tiburcio del Rosario Sergio Matias

Don Agapito Zialcita Don Flaviano Alonzo Don Mariano Legazpi

Don Jose Turiano Santiago y Acosta Don Aurelio Tolentino Don Felix Ferrer

Don Felipe Buencamino Don Fernando Canon Faustino Don Anastacio Pinzun

Don Timoteo Bernabe Don Flaviano Rodriguez Don Gavino (?) Masancay

Don Narciso Mayuga Don Gregorio Villa Don Luis Perez Tagle

Don Canuto Celestino Don Marcos Jocson Don Martin de los Reyes

Don Ciriaco Bausa Don Manuel Santos Don Mariano Toribio

Don Gabriel de los Reyes Don Hugo Lim Don Emiliano Lim Don Faustino Tinorio(?)

Don Rosendo Simon Don Leon Tanjanque(?) Don Gregorio Bonifacio Don Manuel Salafranca

Don Simon Villareal Don Calixto Lara Don Buenaventura Toribio

Don Gabriel Reyes Don Hugo Lim Don Emiliano Lim

Don Fausto Tinorio(?) Don Rosendo Simon Don Leon Tanjanque(?)

Don Gregorio Bonifacio Don Manuel Salafranca Don Simon Villareal

Don Calixto Lara Don Buenaventura Toribio Don Zacarias Fajardo

Don Florencio Manalo Don Ramon Gana Don Marcelino Gomez

Don Valentin Politan Don Felix Politan Don Evaristo Dimalanta

Don Gregorio Alvarez Don Sabas de Guzman Don Esteban Francisco

Don Guido Yaptinchay Don Mariano Rianzares Bautista Don Francisco Arambulo

Don Antonio Gonzales Don Juan Antonio Gonzales Don Juan Arevalo

Don Ramon Delfino Don Honorio Tiongco Don Francisco del Rosario

Don Epifanio Saguil Don Ladislao Afable Jose Don Sixto Roldan

Don Luis de Lara Don Marcelo Basa Don Jose Medina

Don Efipanio Crisia(?) Don Pastor Lopez de Leon Don Mariano de los Santos

Don Santiago Garcia Don Andres Tria Tirona Don Estanislao Tria Tirona

Don Daniel Tria Tirona Don Andres Tria Tirona Don Carlos Tria Tirona

Don Sulpicio P. Antony Don Epitacio Asuncion Don Catalino Ramon

Don Juan Bordador Don Jose del Rosario Don Proceso Pulido

Don Jose Maria del Rosario Don Ramon Magcamco(?) Don Antonio Calingo

Don Pedro Mendiola Don Estanislao Galinco Don Numeriano Castillo

Don Federico Tomacruz Don Teodoro Yatco Don Ladislao Diwa(?).

Who solemnly swear to recognize and defend it unto the last drop of their blood.

In witness thereof, I certify that this Act of Declaration of Independence was signed by me and by all those here assembled including the only stranger who attended those proceedings, a citizen of the U.S.A., Mr. L.M. Johnson, a Colonel of Artillery.

Ambrosio Rianzares Bautista

War Counsellor and Special Delegate-Designate

So there you are, the people who signed and declared our Independence from Spain.

2006: A PAST REVIEWED

January 2006 entered my life with a lot of uncertainties. I do not know whether I would be leaving for the overseas job that was offered to me. Basically, I have set a time table that if by the second week of January, I will not have my US visa yet, I would write my employer that they get another surgeon to replace. I might not be meant for the job. The call from the US Embassy on January 6 changed it all. With the release of my visa, I have to go into a hurried pace. Of slowly endorsing all what is to be left behind including financial responsibilities. Well, I must say, I am in deep debt because of wanton and irresponsible use of my credits cards. And really now, this overseas job is real shot in the arm.

Kosrae State in Micronesia is not really what is in my mind. Although I am already familiar with missionary places, it is not what I expected. Sometimes, advertisements in the internet may be so misleading that one gets to have a wrong impression of the place you are getting into. But I could see a lot of potentials in place; it is just a matter of tapping the necessary legislation and a mindset for change. If the people of Kosrae set its vision to a more laudable and economically viable island then it could also like Singapore – an island which is now very prosperous. But that is wishful thinking now. It would be up for the new government in Kosrae to look into possibilities of change. Change for the better and change for the future of its citizenry. We feel as expatriates, we are merely spectators of how this Island State is being governed. But in truth, we are also affected with the changes that come with it.

From a busy life to a laid back life:

I may say that living in Kosrae has also given me time for growth and adjustment. Although a lot of people say that as we age, then growth stops. But physical growth I am not referring to. To live in Kosrae is to go back to the life I used to know - the simple life that I used to have before I became a doctor. As a professional individual, my life is a hustle and bustle. My job is a 24-hour job everyday and I change coats from being a legislator to occupational health practitioner, to an academician, to a distinguished plenary speaker and even to being a student. Some people even ask how I get my strength shuttling from one work to another. But that how it is in the past paced life in the Philippines.

From a pampered life back to the independent life:

Kosrae is practically the opposite. It is presents an idyllic rustic rural life – very much different from the life I left behind. If my life in the Philippines is a pampered life where the niceties are just about the corner, my life in Kosrae needs a lot adjustment for a great deal. I have gone back to cooking my own food. I have gone back washing my own clothes. I have gone back to ironing them after being dried. But no this is one thing I loathe – to iron my clothes. So what I did was to change my wardrobe. I bought and had some clothes sewn back in the Philippines. These clothes belong to the wash and wear type. And lastly I had gone back to cleaning the house.

I was given a house to live-in with the basic needs. With almost a year over, it is still basic. Well, I think this 2007, I would be trying to make certain changes within the house interior. I just hope I have the knock to do it this time.

Learning more independence:

I hired a driver to take me around from my house to my place of work when I had my new car. In Kosrae, I learned to drive. The first time I was all out alone driving, I have created a procession of cars following me. It did not occur to me that I was driving so slow that all other cars can not pass through me because we are within the town limits. I just can laugh whenever I recall this. I bought a reconditioned car from Japan, a Honda Odyssey van. Many are asking why I bought a car as big as my car right now because I live alone. My answer is I don’t know. But I love this car. And the seller said this is the car for me. I could just burst out in laughter when confronted with this reasoning.

Buying the car means, I have to tighten my budget. Of course it has added burden to my monthly expenses as I have to spend for gasoline. Remember that I still have a Revo car in the Philippines. I have yet to complete payment for that. But as I have said the answer here is financial restructuring.

Financial Management:

I must thank my eldest sister for acting as my financial manager. If not with her, my finances would still be in disarray. With her careful planning and management, I would be out of the doldrums in three to four months from now. The year 2006 solidified family ties and bond. This is what the Filipino family really is: Tight, caring, loving and solid.

Emotional Ties that Bind:

Before the end of the year of 2005, we were faced with an emotional difficulty that almost crushed our filial ties down. We were faced with a dilemma whether to breakdown and get destroyed in the process. But years of being together as a family and going through hardships and difficulties solidified us together. So that challenge to our filial bond instead was turned into strength. The ending of the year 2006 brought back the family stronger. The common saying in the country “Sya’y umalis, sya’y dumating” was very apt for my sister’s family which we call our extended family too.

Search for Lasting and Enduring Relationships:

When I went back to the Philippines for my annual vacation for 7 weeks, I went out with a firm hold to look back and see the people near my heart that I left behind. But 7 weeks was not really that. I can not leave during the first two week because I don’t have a reliever yet. My reliever arrived on the 15th of December and it was only on the 16th that I was able to leave, only to be told later that my stay in the Philippines was cut short to 19 days. I have to be back in Kosrae because they have recalled back my reliever in his home base.

The short stay in the Philippines made me scramble for time. I tried hard to have quality time with my friends but it was so short a time. I have to be back. I have been searching for one who is so near my heart and almost all forms of contacts I tried so hard but to no avail. I already lost hope. But on the day of flight, my brother received a call from him and we were able to talk to each other and thresh things out. He was still lucky my brother was using my old prepaid SIM card. That’s how coincidence makes people come together. As they say, it is the psychological ties that really bind. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…………………….. That’s how really love works.

On many things more:

When we sail for the horizon out there, we set out our visions. We maybe alone in those visions. We maybe alone when planned those visions. But we must understand that as we set our sails, we can not just paddle alone. For the oar is too heavy we need someone to help us goad and goad further. When I set my eyes into the far horizon, I was so afraid I would all be alone out here. But no! I am thankful for having countrymen here who in one way or another has celebrated the life I had as an expatriate here in Kosrae. Without them, life can be so boring and less meaningful.

We may survive on our own. We may prosper on our own. But I believe it is our social responsibility to reach out to every one whoever they are.

CIAO!!!! KUDOS!!!!! C’est le vie!!!!